Saturday, 17 May 2014

A RHYTHMIC DANCE
(A Terzanelle)
courtesy : google image

If there’s a deep depression at the Bay    
 The bone dry arid land hopes against hope
 A storm’s to brew to reach the sky they say

 It’s better to rise than sit, brood and mope
 What do these dark flying clouds indicate?
The bone dry arid land hopes against hope

Deflated brain waits to be in full spate
 The blistering heat’s fighting tooth and nail
The bone dry arid land hopes against hope

 The sea’s roaring, the stormy clouds do flail
Droplets poised and the lull’s almost broken
The blistering heat’s fighting tooth and nail

 Euterpe’s flute untie the notes to rain
Parched heart’s quick to drench in words to quench thirst
Droplets poised and the lull’s almost broken

 A rhythmic dance is to be seen at first
If there’s a deep depression at the bay
 Parched heart’s quick to soak in words to quench thirst
 A storm’s to brew to reach the sky they say

Posted for Kerry’s Sunday Form Challenge - Terzanelle @ Real Toads

&

Shared with Poetry Pantry @ Poets United

27 comments:

  1. I like the stanza where it expresses that it is better to rise rather than to mope. That way of living rings true with me. A fine poem all around, Sumana.

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  2. It’s better to rise than sit, brood and mope ... there's so much valuable metaphor in the rhythm of the ocean...

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  3. I too like the second stanza best. As for the closing line it offers a lot to ponder.

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  4. The first stanza set the scene and drew me in! Lovely!

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  5. Wow you did that terzanelle brilliantly. I found it much too complicated to try. Love the lines "It’s better to rise than sit, brood and mope". Very well done Sumana, I could see those dark clouds gathering.

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  6. I like how you painted the storm\s rhythmic dance here:

    The sea’s roaring, the stormy clouds do flail
    Droplets poised and the lull’s almost broken
    The blistering heat’s fighting tooth and nail

    Wishing you happy weekend ~

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  7. so true in not sitting brooding and moping...that will def not make the storm go away...because storms will come into all lives...how we handle them will be vastly different...

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  8. Beautifully written ... the form is perfect. I hope you get the much needed rain. And yes, better to rise than to sit and mope. Lovely message. Well done, Sumana :)

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  9. Of course you did it well.. I love how you weave it together - to act is better than to wait

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  10. Your subject is portrayed very well in this form, and each stanza progressed naturally from the one before.

    If you are a stickler for getting these forms right, I will just mention that line 9 should be a repeat of line 5. I feel that form should follow the writer's intention, so I wouldn't necessarily change it.

    Thank you for participating in the challenge.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Kerry for mentioning it....you are absolutely right..thanks for stopping by and your kind comment...

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  11. beautiful setting... so much feeling between your lines

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  12. This was/is beautifully written.
    ZQ

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  13. You made it all hang together,and the repeats made sense wherever they 3ended up. Well done.

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  14. WOW! I feel this in the muggy weather, in the suspense before storms, and when a leading from God fights this life for discernment--what a relief when the storm breaks, when the story unfolds, when we know how to pick up the witness. It is a dance, isn't it? And the rhythm is often a heart beat. You are totally in tune, Sumana Roy!

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  15. You did a fantastic job with this form. I keep trying but simply cant get the hang of it. You executed it so well.

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  16. Love the key-line: ' A storm’s to brew to reach the sky they say'

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  17. Good use of this form. A sense of hope in spite of the gloom!

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  18. Wow, so vivid and fluid-yours is fantastic!

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  19. I love poems filled with storm imagery - they are so cathartic. With your pen, you have painted some wonderful pictures here. Sumana.

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  20. I love the sound play and poignancy of "parched heart" beautiful poem altogether. :)

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  21. Totally in love with the choice of your words :)

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  22. I can feel the building of the storm so well in this! Beautifully done!

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  23. I especially like those first two stanzas. Nice work Sumana!

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  24. Beautifully written..as always..liked it.. :-)

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  25. Beautifully written Sumana, I really liked the first two stanza. :)

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