Sunday, 29 March 2015

My Days of Clouds

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Glided the days of fleecy clouds

Innocent, light, gilded with dreams

Sailing in the breeze, in the blue

Hard rocky ground was far away

 

Time gave mantras to fly away

Winds brewing in the vast deep blue

White days saddened into black clouds

Raging weather melted the dreams

                    

No one to hold the falling dreams

That was ripped off from the high clouds

Into caverns was flung away

Gasping for breath the notes of Blues

 

Stormy days were painted in blue

Someone carried the sun away

No thread of light to weave the dreams

Shreds of blank thoughts slowly to cloud

 

Limping away my days of clouds

Of black and blue and shattered dreams

 

 

Posted for Bjorn’s Sunday MiniChallenge – not a Sestina but close @ Real Toads

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Shared with Poetry Pantry @ PoetsUnited

31 comments:

  1. interesting imagery.. stormy days were painted in blue.. that's so true.

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  2. I quite liked the form and the images you painted here; especially "limping away my days of clouds of black and blue and shattered dreams".

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  3. Exquisite work here...love the depiction of images you have created in your poem...makes me feel like im flying through the clouds!
    xoxo

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  4. Such sadness specially these lines:

    Stormy days were painted in blue
    Someone carried the sun away

    Hope that thread of light comes back to pierce away the dark clouds~ Well done with the form Sumana ~

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  5. Raging weather can really shatter one's dreams....especially when someone carries the sun away and one can only gasp for breath. Hopefully the days will lighten again, but...never in the same way as they were before, I know.

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  6. Some days are just like that storm so let them pass

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  7. Melted dreams....how terrible this feels when it happens...what a reflective poem

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  8. This is very much like a storm of the mind-- clouding over and sadness. Thanks. K.

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  9. I can feel the storm working here into a very skillful elegy of sadness.. the envoi that summarizes the aftermath is heartbreaking.. Thank you for grazing the form with such great poetry.

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  10. This reads so sad which is usually perfect to an effective execution of either quartina or sestina, IMHO. Well done!

    - ksm

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  11. Sumana, I was so drawn into this poem, those halcyon days, gilded in memory, then someone taking the sun away, leaving the narrator in a time of sorrow and stormy skies. May she hang on, in trust that, one day, if a return to halcyon times cannot be, a measure of peace will be hers again. Blessings to you, my friend. This is a beautiful poem and I love the form, though I cant identify it. I assume it is a response to Bjorn's form. I love the result, though I cant figure out how people are doing it!!!!!

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  12. lovely cloud imagery Sumana; have a nice Sunday

    much love...

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  13. ''No thread of light to weave the dreams''

    Such sadness and feelings of lost hope, Sumana. Perhaps there is light behind the clouds, to begin new dreams of brightness.

    Poppy

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  14. "Stormy days were painted in blue
    Someone carried the sun away"
    sounds of sadness, nice one!

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  15. Wonderful images of storms that could mean storms of the mind or relationships or just storms....I particularly loved...

    'White days saddened into black clouds
    Raging weather melted the dreams'

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

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  16. A melancholic poem, well done with the form ~ hopefully the sun will shine again soon.

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  17. we can still have the invisible to hold onto even the clouds have given up our dreams.

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  18. Clouds do enter and leave our lives in many ways, don't they. An exquisite extended metaphor, Sumana.

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  19. Your images play in my mind and heart like a film with few words--just sound track with the changing clouds from dream to dreamless ... so sad.

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  20. So nicely written, Sumana as if this all could be true, a bad dream. My kind of nightmare, awake or sleeping, but impossible in real life for sure.. I liked the taking away of the sun, the wildest and post preposterous.

    The envoy was perfect as well, the hectameter made it easy to divide in two. Mine was really lopsided, I began my last line with one of the rhyming words.
    ..

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  21. The melancholy in this is so strong. We all have those days where clouds are more than fluff in the sky. Beautiful capture of the poetic form.

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  22. Beauty wrapped in sadness. Wonderful write.

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  23. Would you like a cup of tea? A sad poem.

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  24. White days saddened into black clouds
    Raging weather melted the dreams

    There are bad days that run against us. It can have devastating effects. It can create problems if one is not careful and leave us limping!

    Hank

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  25. Sumana,

    I hate the idea of dreams all falling away, though on a grey cloud ridden day, as I have here; it is possible to imagine that happening. Seeking more pleasant blue sky and sunny days weathers, soon!!
    A new and different form of composing your words!!
    Eileen

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  26. Oh, a little sad here, Sumana. Especially if 'Someone carried the sun away'. That's a really great line though :) I love the imagery you've created as well. Great job, Sumana :)

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  27. This is beautiful Sumana. We can all relate to the sadness of dreams extinguished by clouds. It's so amazing to me, that you can write something so lovely while adhering to the rules of a form. I must, must be brave enough to try that...someday.

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  28. seen through a tear before the smile... :-)
    ZQ

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  29. Oh Sumana its a song and Blues at that.
    I smiled because I was about to write a stormy poem. You really do have a way of making things come alive!!!

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  30. the visuals in this poetry are outstanding! you really pull the reader into the atmosphere with your words. excellent.

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