any picture comes to my mind,
i try to give it a body of words,
love to sit on other blooms,
for honey, color, fragrance........
Wow!! Had goose pimples reading!! Brilliant!!
This is a slick piece. Nice storytelling, as there is much here in a very short verse. Before you know it - you have kids, and then they are grown and gone and --- it all happens so fast. The contrast in the heat of his breath and cool breeze there in the end is telling as well.
Time sows its seeds of birth and later harvests its seeds of death. From your poem I feel how both birth and death are 'engrossing' in their own way. Perhaps in some way they are twins at the opposite ends of the cycle. The 'wake up' at the conclusion of your poem, I think, gives us a message to live - with all of the time given to us! Nice one, Sumana!
Absolutely outstanding Sumana.
I'm with Robin. This is outstanding work.
This is such an intriguing piece.. He who forces time is thus pushed back and one who yields, finds that time is by his side..Well penned :DLots of love,Sanaa
rise from the ashes, the power of life. Well done.
today here, tomorrow gone,,,,such fragile things are
you went wayy way forward or way way backward, depending on the reader's perspective, this is sharpmuch love...have a nice Wednesday
Sometimes time stands still for both good and bad reasons...hopefully when it's the latter we can still find the strength to move on
Wonderful! And I particularly like that ending.
Oh! Despite the dying of youth, this narrator is sooooo needed! Wow! What a voice! and from the depths of hell, HOPE.
A little bit scary...but magical indeed.
Wow! Simply brilliant. What a lovely depiction :)
This is so meaningful. Sad, some fear but beautiful in its truth. Exquisite writing Sumana. Loved it.
I love the strong symbols you have used what an ending. Thanks also for hosting today - smiles for your week
Sumana,How significant that birth and death should present themselves at the same time...A form of foreboding, which may indicate, that we have the time between to live..Eileen
Great poem Sumana..enjoyed it.
Time of birth and death are of the same elements and sometimes said in the same breath. Well said Sumana!Hank
Cannot say I would welcome this experience Reminds me of the grim reaper !
I admire the story and specially the ending, the rebirth, waking up from the ashes ~Such a lovely theme Sumana ~ Hope you are well ~
Oh wow...this is powerful - feels like a prophetic dream! Beautifully written!
Amazing, Sumanadi...loved it... !
Oh what a great poem for the visit of that old man in a dream.
Wow that was intense and striking I loved it great job.
Lovely piece, Sumana. The cycle of birth, death and rebirth, all moderated by the passage of time!
Thank you for stopping by and sharing your valuable thoughts.........