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I live, remember
How you moved
In me
How you lived
On me
How I rocked you
To slumber
Now
o
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t
l
i
v
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n
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I used the first archived challenge: Words Count with Mama Zen "Power Image" (in twenty five words or less)
Posted for Margaret’s Play it Again, Toads! @ RealToads
&
Sharing it with Poetry Pantry @ Poets United
So awfully sad. To be outlived, left is a terrible destiny.
ReplyDeleteVery sad. No parent wants it.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful every day that I still have all my children. I keep hoping, of course, that every one of them will outlive me.
DeleteVery emotional write. Just the right words used to stir in the sadness of your heart dear Sumana
ReplyDeleteMuch love...
That's just tough.. hope the writing and sharing helps ease it just that little bit.
ReplyDeleteThat's really tough.. hope the writing and the sharing helps ease it just a little bit. More strength to you.
ReplyDeleteThat's really tough.. hope the writing and the sharing helps ease it just a little bit. More strength to you.
ReplyDeleteSuch heartfelt lines. Wishing you peace Sumana..
ReplyDeleteLove hurts so much when you lose someone especially a child.
ReplyDeleteThis is not the way it SHOULD be, Sumana; but I know that you continue to honor her life with yours.
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to even consider outliving a child. I know this is painful for you. Def feel the sadness even at the thought of it.
ReplyDeleteso sad. really hard to live with it. :(
ReplyDeleteextremely powerful poem - if I many be so bold - I often use cascading words as well - this poem is so powerful I think that it detracts... yet of course it is your vision ... each word holds so very much meaning ...
ReplyDeleteI like the progression from I live to outliving ~ Very touching words ~
ReplyDeleteIn 21 moving words you have written a novel.
ReplyDeleteTake your time, dear Sumana... Thinking of you....
ReplyDeleteVery effectively emotive....the way you have 'outliving' going down the page, as it goes on and on mirrors the way the outliving continues on and on and the grief that goes with it. Wow. Piercing.
ReplyDeleteI love the title! My eyes add a hyphen to create "I still-live," meaning "I live, but without moving/really existing." Cool concept.
ReplyDeletea fresh idea and a fresh word: outliving. i think i am very humbled in your presence. good talent.
ReplyDeleteShe lives, indeed... I see it in this poem, in so many others of your words... And I believe she sees it, too. ♥
ReplyDeletePowerful and painful, truly the most difficult thing a mother can live through.
ReplyDeleteFor whatever the mother is lamenting it is does not stop them from leaving the nest!
ReplyDeleteHank
What can be said but the sorrow felt here is one no parent hopes will ever happen....I wish you peace and healing.
ReplyDeleteDonna@LivingFromHappiness
few words yet so deep.. it's like it doesn't end
ReplyDeleteThat outliving runs like a teardrop down one's face. Striking visual element that enhances the melancholy of the poem.
ReplyDeleteYour lines are so touching, Wish you peace.
ReplyDeleteYes some things that we love will out live us.
ReplyDeleteOh. Moving, the line of life, of pregnancy, of continuance ... oh. Sadness. Bless you for the fierceness and gentleness of your love.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreaking...so much pain in such few words
ReplyDeleteThis must be the hardest thing, ever. xo
ReplyDeleteVery sad . . . moving and poignant. Peace to you, Sumana.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, Sumana. Outliving your child(ren) is a heartbreak I can not begin to imagine. But you're living. And I'm sure that's what she would want you to do. To live and to love, but that doesn't mean forgetting. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeletePowerful indeed, albeit tragic. May you continue to find strength and poetry.
ReplyDeleteA pain that can never be expressed...
ReplyDelete