source |
The raging roar of thought-waves crashes
Echo.
Ashes
I pick the shards of myself up from the black
shore
Echo.
Sore
Darkness with the glittering smile of stars
Echo.
Stares
A suppressed wail from my inside wells up
Echo.
Sap
Grief has taken its toll and leads to ruin
Echo.
Win
I stand on the long night’s shore alone
Echo.
One
In the belief that One Being will hold my
hand
Echo.
And
In the heart that will rise that splits the
night
Echo.
Might
Hollering tides will recede and touch the
sound of silence
Echo.
Quiescence
Form – Echo Verse
I used the title and two sentences from Simon and Garfunkel’s song “The
Sound of Silence”
Posted for Mary’s Midweek Motif ~ Silence @ Poets United
&
Sharing with Open Link Night 153 @ dVerse Poets Pub
This is absolutely incredible.. the echoes add an extra emphasis to the lines and give an overall awe-inspiring effect :D Well penned! :D
ReplyDeleteLots of love,
Sanaa
What a fascinating poetic form you have developed here.
ReplyDeleteThere is a sadness amidst the silence in this poem that is deeply felt. Hope for the One to hold the hand in the night when one feels this way. Peace.
ReplyDeleteA palpable sense grief in this one. Very sad.
ReplyDeleteA very effective and affective poem - it illustrates perfectly the demands placed upon us - what silence is acceptable - what 'noise' is acceptable...so very restrictive and unhealthy...a beautiful poem..wise and telling
ReplyDeleteA susurrating poem!
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully expressed. The echo really underlines the feelings in this piece. Beautiful, Sumana. Grief takes its toll but, with faith, somehow we withstand.
ReplyDeleteI always felt that ocean had an ability to quiet my grief, temper my anger, calm my strife.
ReplyDeleteA fantastic poem to hold onto when the waves are over the rails
You captured the meaning of the song in this poem. "Quiescence," what a fantastic word! I admire poets who take forms from past prompts and use them again soon after, like a muscle one wants to flex. So much wisdom here. Amy
ReplyDeleteWow! What a cool use of this form...I've not seen this before...well done!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. I like the effect of the echo form. To me it made me think of crying. The poem is sad, personal, hopeful and lovely.
ReplyDeleteThis whole thing is so raw and emotive, but this especially:
ReplyDelete"I pick the shards of myself up from the black shore
Echo. Sore"
So beautifully weaved... I re-read to get the essence of the words succeeding Echo, and then could gather those emphatic words...A mesmerising piece!
ReplyDeleteGreat poem the image is very moving.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem!
ReplyDeleteImpeccably done! What a unique style of poetry....lovely lovely verses, Sumana!! Delightful read...
ReplyDeleteThe vision, the Quiescence - So powerful!!
ReplyDeleteSo sad to be left there on that shore.. Just waiting for the solace to sooth the pain.. There is still that sliver of hope..
ReplyDeleteEcho! Wonderfully written. I love S&G and so is this poem. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteNew style of expression.
ReplyDeleteTouching words :)
nice take on the echo poem... i like the hope in this even in a dark moment - and now you have put an earworm in my ear and i will have to hum sound of silence all day long...oy
ReplyDeleteI felt that sadness specially in the last two lines:
ReplyDeleteIn the heart that will rise that splits the night
Hollering tides will recede and touch the sound of silence
And a wonderful echo verse too ~
As long as you have that belief I think you will ever have the strength to rise again. Some smart rhymes in the echoes like ruin to win.
ReplyDeleteVery nice to be able to read this poem another time, Sumana! This poem is definitely worth a reread for me, with its strong message becoming even stronger second time around.
ReplyDeleteDarkness with the glittering smile of stars
ReplyDeleteA suppressed wail from my inside wells up
One can still pick the pieces to take a grip on oneself. It is good to cry out and get it out of the system. It works apparently! Great echoes Sumana!
Hank
Very thoughtfully penned.
ReplyDeleteThis is the third echo poem I've encountered out on the dVerse trail; nice work on the form; the magic is in the choice of echo words. I liked your lines /in the heart that will rise that splits the night/ Echo--
ReplyDeleteMight/.
I'm glad you waited to link this here and now - the wait was worth it. You did an excellent job with this and the echoes really make the lines.
ReplyDeleteThis was worth the wait. Glad you still published after the prompt expired. the echoes so wonderfully underline the lines. Excellent work.
ReplyDeleteGreat and powerful use of the echo form, Sumana. The beginning of the poem conveys pain but in the end we feel a sense of calm, despite everything.
ReplyDeleteLove how you echoed "ruin" with "win". I would have never caught that, but it works perfectly...and especially as "win" is such a contrast to ruin. Well done!
ReplyDeleteTruly amazing most animals
ReplyDeletewalk with shores
as Life
and most
only
humans
walk
against
shores
as death..
And humans
think.. and
humans
think
think
thINk
lost...
losing
lost......
waiting
for waves
to come back
AS Ocean of LOVE..:)
Sound of silence is beautiful as well as blissful. I am glad that you picked this form - I love it already.
ReplyDeleteThe rhythms of the waves create a beautiful ebb and flow effect in these thoughts. Synchronised.
ReplyDeletethe ruin / win echo I found most interesting ~
ReplyDeleteThe structure of the echo works so powerfully here, Sumana - just perfect!
ReplyDeleteThis is so-o-o-o good . . . the final echo echoing perfectly.
ReplyDeleteA melancholy poem, written from the heart, Sumana. Simply beautiful and so very poignant...
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI guess I am the first person right from Balurghat to comment on your blog. :P Never mind.I had spotted your blog on IndiBlogger days ago and have kept visiting once or twice in a while ever since then.I couldn't keep myself from not responding to someone who listens to Simon And Garfunkel while living in this suburbian town where not too many people understand the values of multi-faceted culture.This is beautiful,indeed.
This is a nice poem. I like the first two lines especially. The end is good too. The sounds of silence can sometimes be loud. Also, love the beach imagery.
ReplyDelete