Friday, 15 January 2016

The Hunt

source

The moon’s spinneret secret silver threads

The field mouse dreads

The screech that’s shredding the silent silver night

The feathered feet in flight

Would swoop down with talon eager and gay

To clutch and tear its prey

Making a grand meal of the fateful day

The cold wind howls while the silver corns shiver

Deadly wings ride the wind, circle and hover

The field mouse dreads the feathered feet in flight to clutch and tear its prey

 

 


Posted for dVerse MTB: Unraveling the Ovillejo

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Shared with Poetry Pantry @ Poets United

42 comments:

  1. What a shivering and deadly night this is for the field mouse ~ You did well on the form Sumana ~

    Thanks for joining us ~

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  2. Poor field mouse, but I guess even owls have to eat. Very nice use of the form. Peace, Linda

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  3. Excellent description, l have owls living in the woods around my home and l listen through the night as they call out. Your poem makes me think of them.

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  4. Oh.. the poor little fieldmouse... but I also see the hawks hungry chicks...

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  5. WOW! I've never seen such a nice long 10th line work before. Strong imagery here. Kudos! Great work!

    (Tried to comment earlier. Hope this one goes through.)

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  6. Oh, this is so vivid, Sumana! You really mastered the Ovillejo form with this evocative write! (Poor mouse!)

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  7. You paint the dread tangibly...i especially like the phrase, "silver corn shivers"!

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  8. Oh, I really love this Sumana. It's so beautiful and you did splendidly with the form, as much as my untrained eye can tell. :) All mice fear the dreaded feathered feet! Excellent!

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  9. This is gorgeous. Your execution of the form was perfect, and the text was stunning!

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  10. The sharp talons can just tear them apart. Beautiful Ovillejo Sumana!

    Hank

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  11. Wow! This is visually and emotionally so vivid, one feels like the mouse - those powerful wings and talons descending. So well done, Sumana! An intriguing form, well executed.

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  12. Whew. The form intensifies the terror of the field mouse, but I cannot help admiring the screech, swoop and skill of the eagle as well.

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  13. Talons fly for hunted
    prey.. without
    a pray to
    escape..
    sOils of
    comfort..
    soils of
    blood..
    some souls
    sleepy comfy..
    others alWays
    just beLow
    talons
    grip...

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  14. very well written as always !

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  15. this is so powerful poem
    good work Sumana!

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  16. Wow! Such an incredible work on the Ovillejo form :D
    Beautifully done :D


    Lots of love,
    Sanaa

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  17. Being a top predator mankind rarely thinks of the creatures it considers inferior where everyday it is a matter of survival. Beautifully written.

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  18. I suppose we are all field mice in a way..fearing those talons which may come from the sky and tear at us unexpected..a wonderful poem that really connected and immersed itself in the image..i particularly liked those shivering silver corn

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  19. i love field mice. they are very cute. i guess the hunters will hunt and the prey their food. life

    gracias, well written

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  20. Wonderful gentle form in a powerful poem - beautifully penned !

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  21. Fabulous, vivid imagery worked with carefully chosen words like, 'The screech that’s shredding the silent silver night'.

    I adore power of this fabulous poem!

    Donna@LivingFromHappiness

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  22. Wonderful form. I traveled to a dark night - both long ago and current.

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  23. love the alliteration and the weave...

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  24. You have captured the hunt splendidly....and I am in awe of the ease with which you accomplished this form as it has me completely stumped!

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  25. The silent silver night... a great line.

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  26. Very nicely done. We've a hawk that hangs around the bird feeder because of the field mice, chipmunks and birds.. you know, fast food.

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  27. Luv the rhyme and repetition; a night dread for one and conquest for the other a yin yang scene

    happy Sunday

    much love...

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  28. this predator and prey poem made me think of people in those roles. It all made me giggle inspite of myself. enjoyed it Sumana!

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  29. Such a successful poem that you forget it's written to form. Really works.

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  30. You did well with this form, as far as I can tell. I did not get up to trying it. But I do like the poem itself and how it conveys the scene of prey and predator.

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  31. Great job with imagery..I could see it all play out in my head. The cycle of nature twas an unlucky day for the mouse.

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  32. Beautifully accomplished.

    Elizabeth

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  33. This is such an interesting form. The rhyme back-an-forthing in a variety of meters is mesmerizing. Great job on this piece!

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  34. I like the description of picture, awareness of nature' cycle. Classical feel to the form!

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  35. This was a good fun poem to read. Poor mouse though !

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  36. This one made me shiver from beginning to end!

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