A TINY HOME
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| google image |
Thursday, 24 July 2014
I’m stuck in a huge blank nowhere
And see a gargantuan mass of words
Slithering towards me
Their scales are too
Shiny, morose, husky, sweet
Shadowy, mellifluous and harsh
I am almost mesmerized
Will I be subdued by its constrictions
I choose to turn away my eyes
And take deep breath
Darkness descends
My firefly words are out
One by one but few
Short
lived fluttering glow-words
They pull me out
And give me a tiny home
Posted for Claudia’s hosting Meeting The Bar:Critique And Craft @ d’Verse
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oh i like the image of the firefly words - how they flutter and pull you with them and give you a home... some poems feel like a home to me where it's just great and relaxing to be...
ReplyDeletegreat visuals in this... i see the words glowing
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done.
ReplyDelete...fluttering glow words ...simply grand!
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of firefly words. Just as fireflies blaze for only a short time, so often do our words.....until they fade away, no longer part of our own or others' memories.
ReplyDeleteI am with Mary on this - Firefly words is a real highlight and the image really works and makes it come alive
ReplyDeleteFirefly words - clever observation.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Clever vision you have. and a great observation about life.
ReplyDelete:) Beautiful.
Yes, oh yes, the firefly imagery was masterful, but your first 3 lines were a clever & powerful set up, poet lost in a surrealistic landscape where words become mass & sentences become lifelines.
ReplyDeleteI love the firefly words...."short-lived fluttering glow-words". Awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou contrast well the void versus the tiny articulations that span it (for now, today, this moment). The poem as a "tiny home," indeed. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThe overwhelm of words and the challenge of picking just the one or two... great description of something I'm sure we can all relate to.
ReplyDeleteI too like the image of the firefly words. Words shine and then sadly go.
ReplyDeletebeautiful.....I like the closing lines so much....
ReplyDeleteI like your description of being overwhelmed by the wave of mesmeric words ...almost intimidated by them.
ReplyDelete"My firefly words are out" - what a glorious image. It made me think of sparks of inspiration flitting about.
ReplyDeleteI could feel the construction. I'm glad in the end the mass of words found their way out slowly, fluttering as fireflies.
ReplyDeleteThat is a very fresh and fitting metaphor - the firefly words against the big dark night of anonymity.
ReplyDeleteI tried to post a comment earlier - not sure if it went through. Absolutely love the home words build for us, such a relief, a true destiny.
ReplyDeleteI love the idea of tiny home, as it makes a big difference nevertheless ~ Excellent response Sumana ~
ReplyDeleteThe poem really came to a conclusion that felt so good to read.with drama in the words and rhythm.
ReplyDeleteSparkling work Sumana - you bring so much to life here...
ReplyDeleteLove the "gargantuan mass of words"
ReplyDeleteha. how fanciful, the firefly words that you release....an interesting contrast to the snake slither in the first part....
ReplyDelete