Thursday 24 July 2014

A TINY HOME

google image

I’m stuck in a huge blank nowhere

And see a gargantuan mass of words

Slithering towards me

Their scales are too

Shiny, morose, husky, sweet

Shadowy, mellifluous and harsh

I am almost mesmerized

Will I be subdued by its constrictions

I choose to turn away my eyes

And take deep breath

Darkness descends

My firefly words are out

One by one but few

 Short lived fluttering glow-words

They pull me out

And give me a tiny home

                                 

 

Posted for Claudia’s hosting Meeting The Bar:Critique And Craft @ d’Verse

24 comments:

  1. oh i like the image of the firefly words - how they flutter and pull you with them and give you a home... some poems feel like a home to me where it's just great and relaxing to be...

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  2. great visuals in this... i see the words glowing

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  3. ...fluttering glow words ...simply grand!

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  4. I like the idea of firefly words. Just as fireflies blaze for only a short time, so often do our words.....until they fade away, no longer part of our own or others' memories.

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  5. I am with Mary on this - Firefly words is a real highlight and the image really works and makes it come alive

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  6. Firefly words - clever observation.
    Anna :o]

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  7. Clever vision you have. and a great observation about life.

    :) Beautiful.

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  8. Yes, oh yes, the firefly imagery was masterful, but your first 3 lines were a clever & powerful set up, poet lost in a surrealistic landscape where words become mass & sentences become lifelines.

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  9. I love the firefly words...."short-lived fluttering glow-words". Awesome!

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  10. You contrast well the void versus the tiny articulations that span it (for now, today, this moment). The poem as a "tiny home," indeed. Well done!

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  11. The overwhelm of words and the challenge of picking just the one or two... great description of something I'm sure we can all relate to.

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  12. I too like the image of the firefly words. Words shine and then sadly go.

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  13. beautiful.....I like the closing lines so much....

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  14. I like your description of being overwhelmed by the wave of mesmeric words ...almost intimidated by them.

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  15. "My firefly words are out" - what a glorious image. It made me think of sparks of inspiration flitting about.

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  16. I could feel the construction. I'm glad in the end the mass of words found their way out slowly, fluttering as fireflies.

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  17. That is a very fresh and fitting metaphor - the firefly words against the big dark night of anonymity.

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  18. I tried to post a comment earlier - not sure if it went through. Absolutely love the home words build for us, such a relief, a true destiny.

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  19. I love the idea of tiny home, as it makes a big difference nevertheless ~ Excellent response Sumana ~

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  20. The poem really came to a conclusion that felt so good to read.with drama in the words and rhythm.

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  21. Sparkling work Sumana - you bring so much to life here...

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  22. Love the "gargantuan mass of words"

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  23. ha. how fanciful, the firefly words that you release....an interesting contrast to the snake slither in the first part....

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