image source here |
any picture comes to my mind, i try to give it a body of words, love to sit on other blooms, for honey, color, fragrance........
Thursday, 4 September 2014
A Day in Progress
I’m on the brick pathway as chiming clock
tells me to move on. It takes a few steps from my door to reach there. As I
walk I grieve for the vanishing thickets with their birdsongs and all the trees
that have made room for the concrete. Vultures hover for a stray dog’s carcass.
The narrow lane is littered with cow dung and dog turd. My rickshaw puller
comes to take me to school. He grieves too. The battery driven eco friendly
Totos have arrived in my town carrying more passengers, plying with more speed
and less fare.
Blazing blue above
Black glasses cover all eyes
Brave sunshine school kids
Last minute preparation for Teacher’s Day Celebration
is in full swing. Sweat streams as teachers and students rehearse their one act
play and others remain busy in their own work schedule. One red and yellow
batik print cotton shawl is needed for the dance recital. The teacher
responsible is asking us if we could lend one. Ah flashes of lightning, strong
wind and torrential rains rejuvenate every spirit. We all wait for a cool bright
5th September*.
My clean red brick road
Sparkling eyes dispel darkness
Soft prayer ripples
*5th September is celebrated as
Teacher’s Day all over India in fond memory of the great teacher, philosopher,
scholar and the second President of India Dr. Sarvepalli Radhakrishnan
(1888-1975).
This is my first attempt at a haibun. I am
not sure if I did the form justice.
Written for MTB d’Verse
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nice glimpse into your culture sumana - have yet to ride a rickshaw and hope that i make it to india before the totos have taken over...smiles... happy delebration day tomorrow
ReplyDeleteI like the difference between the first and second. The first is sad, with the death of the dog; and the second is happy, with the celebration taking place. It sounds like the teacher day is quite a holiday!
ReplyDeleteI think these haibun works great.. the contrast between the two, with the haiku binding them together.. A teacher's day - what a great idea... maybe something to have elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteI can't speak to the form, but I sure enjoyed reading this. It's so pesonal, yet giving us a glimpse of India - its grief and cause for celebration. You did a great job here.
ReplyDeleteThis is a fine form to use; I really need to use it more often myself; really enjoyed your slice-of-life Rilke tribute; nice work, & happy
ReplyDeleteTeacher's Day too.
teachers day is such a cool concept...like we talked about over email we have teacher appreciation day but its pretty tame....nice slice of the every day though...
ReplyDeleteteacher's day is a great thing to have. Nice use of the form, too, by the way :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely snapshot of your country, tradition and colors ~ I think its a great way to honor the man ~ I see you wrote a haibun, smiles ~ Its a great way to start, combining prose & haiku ~ As a tip, your haiku can be a contrast or something different about your prose but with a wee bit of similarity ~ Enjoyed this one Sumana & wishing you happy week ~
ReplyDeleteLove this peek into your edge of the world. From the rickshaw to the yellow batik shawl.
ReplyDeletewow!!! this line blew me away:
ReplyDeleteVultures hover for a stray dog’s carcass. The narrow lane is littered with cow dung and dog turd.
Where did you come up with this line? I love it/
The whole poem is magnificent! and brilliant.
:)
As long as one has the human connections.. i do no think the rest of it really matters..in fact sometimes the rest of it i know takes the real connections away...
ReplyDeleteThe poorer i am in past the stronger i am and share the connections that are true..i never think i have money now..even though i do..the connections grow stronger..not weaker..as money and material items are no longer objective realities in subjective true..
of love true i know for truth..:)
I liked the glimpse into your world.
ReplyDeleteI am passionate about haibun - I really was entranced by the sincerity, culture and blending of prose and haiku here. I very much enjoyed this piece - and admire you for taking it on so well.
ReplyDeleteyou did delivered a slice of everyday life... always cool to learn of other cultures
ReplyDeleteThis really impressed upon me all the sounds and images you experience - and your feelings all interwoven. Nicely done. I think the form worked well here.
ReplyDeleteYou took me with you through the streets to the school - you captured the "essence" in your haibuns but you gave us color, joy, smells, sights, sounds in the text. It was like little surprises found hidden along the paths.
ReplyDeleteHappy teachers day Sumana..loved your Haibun..
ReplyDeleteI believe you have done the form justice :)
ReplyDeleteUplifting and beautiful Sumana - bald you took the plunge with this form, I think it suits you... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com
ReplyDeleteA haibun it is!
ReplyDeleteYou did the haibun perfectly well - the text is so nicely poetic to me with such details - very enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteYour haibun evoked a picturesque image of where you are, I see it, smell it, hear it in my mind. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think that your Haibuns are perfect. Great portrait of the day 😊
ReplyDeletenice glimpse into the everyday
ReplyDeleteA lovely piece! I really liked it.
ReplyDeleteMy first exposure to the haibun was through Bjorn's work. I absolutely love this form - and indeed, may attempt it myself one of these days. So I really enjoyed reading your post, Sumana.
ReplyDelete